Is This Stopping You From Taking Action?

by carolineleon | Oct 13, 2024 | Mindset, Uncategorized

“Being detached allows us to stay balanced and free from the anxieties that arise from success or failure.”
~ Pundarika Vidyanidhi Das

I want to talk to you about something that comes up in my client calls all the time. The struggle to take action on important business activities. In today’s letter, I’d like to share one reason that I think that might be.

Take a moment now to bring to mind something that you want to do in your business but that, for whatever reason, you struggle to take action on.

It could be getting your content marketing up and running, launching a new product or service, reaching out to someone who you know could be a great collaborator or any other thing that you know will move your business forward, but, for whatever reason, you’re stalling on.

Now ask yourself this?

What outcome are you attached to?

Is it that the content you write is well received and impactful? Is that your launch goes really well and you get a certain number of sign-ups? Is it that the person you reach out responds enthusiastically?

Now take that outcome and consider the fear behind it.

Is it that people won’t like your content or that they’ll criticize it? Is it that no one will buy your new offering and it will look like you don’t know what you’re doing? Is it that you won’t get a response from the person you reach out to and worse still, they’ll be annoyed that you did?

Can you relate? Do you have these sorts of thoughts running through your head? Perhaps you’re conscious of them or maybe this is the first time you’re giving them attention.

The key is that many of us become attached to a certain outcome and the fear of not getting the outcome we desire then gets in the way of taking action.

I get it, I used to do this all the time and I can still fall into this same trap but I want to share something that really helped me.

Years ago, when Joan and I left our home in Mexico (where we’d been housesitting for a year) and moved to Valencia, Spain, we were both excitedly working on our businesses. Joan had, since meeting me, really got into personal growth and was keen to start his own coaching business.

In typical Joan style, he dived right in and decided to run an in-person workshop on stress. He found a venue, found a partner to help him promote it and set a date. On the morning of his workshop, I couldn’t believe how calm he was. “Aren’t you worried that nobody will show up?” I asked him. Well aware that if it were my workshop, that would be my greatest fear.

“Not at all” he replied and went on to explain that his only goal was to become a person who had run a workshop on stress in Valencia. Essentially, to have gone through the process of finding a venue, getting all the equipment, marketing the event, creating his slides, delivering the workshop and gaining all the knowledge that doing so would bring. “I’ll do the workshop even if nobody shows up.” he said with a smile.

I’m not going to lie, I was stunned by this and being who I am, I wanted to understand how he could be so calm, when I might be a nervous wreck. The more I thought about it, the more I realised that my stress in similar situations came from my attachment to a certain outcome. I realised that whenever I wanted to try something new in my business, I wanted to be sure that I would succeed and my fear of failure was often enough to stop me even trying.

Since then (that was 9 years ago!), I’ve largely got over this habit of getting attached to outcome. I’m much better at spotting the desire for success and feeling the fear of failure and going for it anyway. Knowing that who I will be on the other side of just doing the thing will give me more knowledge, confidence and true feeling of accomplishment (regardless of the results).

When we start to do things for the sake of doing them, rather than as a means to an end, we get to enjoy them a whole lot more.

Let’s go back to my earlier examples.

What if, instead of attaching to the outcome of people like our content, we created content because we enjoyed the process of creating? What if, Instead of worrying about what people might say, we focused on expressing our ideas and point of view through content, knowing that over time our content marketing skills would improve?

What if, instead of obsessing over how many people might sign up to our new thing or not, we focused on the skills we’ll deepen as we lean into launching and selling our gifts. One of the things I always tell myself when I’m launching is that nobody knows if it fails. I don’t have to announce that I didn’t get any sign ups and my efforts will likely have got some people ready to buy next time.

What if, instead of not reaching out to people for fear of rejection, we told ourselves that rejection is an inevitable part of the journey. Some of the greatest success stories in life have come about after countless rejections. I’m currently starting the Harry Potter series with my son and so it feels apt to share how the first Harry Potter book was rejected by 12 different publishers before an obscure literary agent took it on.

The truth is, if we adopt an attitude of play, experimentation and exploration in our work, we enjoy it a whole lot more and actually achieve success all the much faster.

Another truth is that while we’re worried about what other people will think, they’re not actually watching us and waiting for us to trip or fail because they are too busy worrying about their own potential missteps.

And let’s just say for argument’s sake, that we do fail spectacularly. What’s the worst that can happen? If you publish that piece and no one comments or someone writes something rude? In a few days you’ll have forgotten all about it — trust me I’ve been there. Or if you try and launch a new offer and no one buys, who is even going to notice?

The worst that can happen in my opinion letting our hopes and fears about what might happen stop us from even trying. So please, ditch your attachment to outcome and consider what might be possible, if you just did the thing for the sake of doing the thing.

Care to share with me the one thing you’ve been procrastinating about moving forward with? I’d love to know so feel free to hit reply and let me know.

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The Fear Is Real

by carolineleon | Jan 17, 2024 | Mindset, Uncategorized

“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as teh bold”
~ Helen Keller

There are a number of ways and places that fear shows up for solo business owners. As micro business owners, we’re not just responsible for the creation and delivery of products and services but we’re also the face of the business, the marketing team, the message bearer and the sales team.

For anyone this would be a daunting affair and yet, what I’ve noticed lately is that many business owners (the kind, thoughtful and sensitive types I work with) aren’t fully acknowledging that this is a very real and totally natural fear.

I’m hearing talented, accomplished women describe their fear as silly or stupid. I’ve heard them express how vulnerable it feels to even admit that there is fear or anxiety and as you might imagine, I have something to say about this.

First though let’s look at two of the most common situations where fear might come up for solopreneurs.

Sharing your point of view or opinion on the internet

Let’s take my business as an example. When I first started to understand that there was a more ethical way of doing business, in order to share that point of view, it meant saying things that go against much of the mainstream marketing advice out there in the online business world.

When everyone was shouting about using opt-ins and freebies to get subscribers, I was encouraging my audience to ditch them. When most business coaches tell their clients to raise their prices, it’s not uncommon for me to tell my clients and audience to lower their prices.

When everyone is telling you to focus on closing the sale, I’m teaching people to slow down the sale and put people first.

I’ve been going against the grain long enough in my business not to feel fearful anymore about sharing my opinion but back when I hadn’t done it before, I still remember the fear well. A very real fear of judgement, criticism, ridicule or rejection.

In fact, when feeling the need to speak out about war crimes in Gaza, I once again, felt a very real fear of being judged, attacked and misunderstood for sharing my thoughts and have witnessed many people being criticised for sharing theirs.

Sharing your point of view (especially as women) has always been hard, but in these times where people don’t think twice about bullying and attacking others online, the fear is even more present.

The problem, however is that sharing your point of view is precisely how your ideal clients find you. It’s how you stand out from the crowd without using pushy and manipulative sales tactics. Learning to overcome the fear of sharing your opinion is, therefore, extremely important.

Fear of launching

Another area where fear is often present and equally as unacknowledged is when we are launching a new product or service. For me launching carries with it a particular flavour of fear. We’ve created something, more than likely put our heart and soul into it. We want to let the world know it exists and invite people to buy it.

For many of my clients this looks like a workshop or a group program, something with a set number of people who need to sign up before a designated start date. Talk about pressure!

In business there’s few things more scary than putting out an offer that you can only hope will be well received.

I often hear comments from clients like “what if nobody signs up??” or “I’ve only got 1 person signed up, what if nobody else does? What will I tell the person who already paid?” or “what will people think about me and my business if I have a failed launch?” Totally understandable worries and fears to have, right?

Yet so many of the people I work with beat themselves up for having these fears or worse still, avoid launching new things because these fears feel too big to face.

What I want to share here is what I said in one of my group programs recently.

First and foremost the fear is real.

It’s not silly or stupid. It doesn’t make you less than or incapable. It says nothing about your level in business. People with 10 years in business still have failed launches. Fact.

It’s absolutely to be expected and therefore should be acknowledged and seen.

Second of all.

You, who are already out in the world forging your own path, building and growing your own business and living and breathing your calling are the brave minority.

Before I stepped out of my former life to create my own business, I lived in a world where I spent my days wishing for Friday to arrive, my weekday evenings numbing out with crap TV, my Friday nights drinking to release the stress of not living my purpose, my Saturdays nursing a hangover, my Sundays dreading Monday mornings and my Monday’s starting the whole sorry cycle over again.

Sounds crazy right? But this is the mainstream. This is what the vast majority of people in the Western world do.

But not you.

You are the brave and courageous. You’ve stepped out and decided to do something to make this world a better place.

You feel fear because you are out in the arena. You are putting yourself out there and risking it all to make a difference.

So, here’s the thing. I want you to honour the fear you feel. I want you to know that you feel the fear, not because you are silly or flawed.

You feel that fear because you are going against the grain. Stepping out of the comfort zone most people live in and your fear is merely a testament to that fact.

Finally, if you deny, supress or downplay your fear, it wins. It stops you from taking bold action. So, for today, acknowledge and celebrate your fear and know that she’s here because you’re ready to show up and shine.

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Once a week, in the form of an e-letter, I share the best of what I know about building a business with integrity for conscious business owners.

The intention behind these letters is to be a voice for integrity within your (undoubtedly) cluttered inbox. To be the one email you can count on to contain strategic and soulful advice for building a business without selling your soul.

If you want to receive the Soulful Strategies Weekly, simply share with me your name and email address below and you’ll start recieving emails right away.

How I Handle Pre-Performance Nerves

by carolineleon | Sep 20, 2023 | Mindset

“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
~ Nelson Mandela

I want to share with you a few things I do whenever I feel nervous about “performing” in my business. That might be teaching a class, doing a live video, being interviewed, or speaking to someone else’s audience and even though I dislike the term performance, I trust you’ll get what I mean when I say that’s how it can feel to us!

As a solopreneur who is committed to getting the word out about conscious business and ethical marketing, I regularly need to face my fears and put myself at the front of the room, so to speak.

To give you a few examples, I presented on authentic outreach to Sarah Santococe’s Humane Marketing Circle, hosted a live online workshop (or 2), and was one of 4 speakers at a roundtable discussion on business model for Tad Hargrave. All of these things, to varying degrees, result in what I’m calling pre-performance nerves.

Back when I had a 9–5 office job, I had a lot of presentations to do and they absolutely terrified me. My voice would start shaking, my stomach would be in knots, I’d feel my face flush and I’d be dying inside (side note: people always told me I came across as very confident and didn’t see any of what I was experiencing inside). The thing was I didn’t have a choice, they were part of the job description, so I sucked it up and somehow got through the excruciating anxiety of it all.

So, you can imagine as a business owner, choosing to volunteer myself for speaking opportunities or “putting myself out there” has required some courage on my part. What spurs me on though is knowing that people need to know that I and my business exist if they are going to buy from me. So I’ve developed a couple of strategies I always do when I start to feel the nerves of presenting get the better of me.

I think about people who love me

I’m a proud Mama of two gorgeous boys and I have a wonderful and loving partner. I keep on my desk at all times photos of the four of us together as a family. Whenever I’m about to do something scary, I’ll pick up one of my photos and take a good hard look and I remind myself that no matter how badly I do in this… interview, presentation or speaking slot, they will still love me. They won’t care if I umm or ahh, they won’t care if I forget my words or encounter a tech snafu. To these 3 people, I’m already a hero and that really helps me to put whatever I’m about to do into perspective. Their opinion matters to me more than anyone else’s and it won’t be affected by how I perform for a work thing and just remembering that can be enough to calm my nerves.

I think about the future

In a similar vein, if I’m feeling particularly nervous, I like to think about a point in time after the event has happened and imagine how good it will feel once it’s over.

Usually, that point in time is the boys coming home, full of energy and life, wanting to hug me and tell me about their day. I like to think about and revel in the sensations of the relief and elation I know I’m going to feel once the scary thing I had to do is now over. I’ll even look at the clock and calculate how long it will be before this scary thing will be out of the way and not something I have to worry about anymore. Focusing on those future sensations often is enough to override or at least quieten any anxiety I might be feeling.

I think about my mission

Sometimes, pre-performance anxiety can come in the form of inner chatter like “who am I to share this stuff”, “there’s nothing special about what I have to share”, “everybody’s probably heard all of this before” etc, I’m sure you know how it goes! When that’s the case, I remind myself of the relief I felt when I first heard or learned of some of the things I now share with my audience and other people’s.

I think about the impact everything I have learned about conscious business and ethical marketing has had on me as a business owner and the growth and evolution of my business and I remind myself of my mission to spread that message.

When I was on a speaking panel with some giants in my industry who have been in business twice as long as me and make far more money. Initially, I felt totally inadequate, but as I remembered my mission I realised that for many people in the audience, the gap between themselves and some of these speakers is so huge that it might feel intimidating or overwhelming to consider how to bridge it.

My goal then became to tailor my message for those people in the audience earlier on in the journey who I can still relate to. That really helped me to anchor into the fact that I have an important message and experience to share.

I remember previous performance successes

Given I’ve felt pre-performance anxiety and nerves many times in my life but have yet to really blow a speaking opportunity and have always received positive feedback. I also like to remind myself that even though there is fear and anxiety, I can do this. I have a wealth of experience of doing things like this and not messing up.

Now each of these things on their own might not seem like they’d be enough to quel pre-performance fears but for me, they do the trick. Plus the more times I put myself out there and face the fear, the easier it becomes. Will I ever be nerves free ahead of an important speaking opportunity? I don’t think so but I think that’s a good thing. It’s what drives me to prepare and practice, which I do regularly. It’s a sign that I care about doing a good job.

How about you? I’d love to know if you have any tips or tricks for managing your nerves in situations like these. Feel free to let me know in the comments.

SIGN UP FOR MY SOULFUL STRATEGIES WEEKLY

Once a week, in the form of an e-letter, I share the best of what I know about building a business with integrity for conscious business owners.

The intention behind these letters is to be a voice for integrity within your (undoubtedly) cluttered inbox. To be the one email you can count on to contain strategic and soulful advice for building a business without selling your soul.

If you want to receive the Soulful Strategies Weekly, simply share with me your name and email address below and you’ll start recieving emails right away.

Mindset Lessons From A Five Year Old

by carolineleon | Mar 29, 2023 | Mindset, Uncategorized

“The mind is a powerful thing. It can take you through walls.”
~ Denis Avey

I want to tell you a cute story about my kid. One of our new family habits for 2023 is to go on a walk in nature every Sunday morning. The walk takes me about 40 minutes fast-walking and at times it’s through rough terrain following the path of the river. It’s a walk I’ve done many times on my own, but never with the boys.

The first time we did it as a family, we weren’t sure if we’d get the whole way around my usual route, given that the boys are only 5 and 3. But we’ve seen how much energy they have, so with snacks and breaks, I was prepared to bet on them making it, albeit with my youngest doing some shoulder riding for sure.

As we neared the end of the walk, we were met with a bit of a hill to get from the river back up to the road into town. By this point our 3 year old, Oliver was on Joan’s shoulders and my 5 year old, Oscar started demanding that he too be carried. I have a bad back so it wasn’t an option for me to carry him (at nearly 6 years old, he’s pretty heavy!) and Joan already had Oliver on his shoulders, so we told him it wasn’t possible and carried on walking.

He refused and sat down on a low wall at the bottom of the hill — he folded his arms and said “I can’t — my legs won’t work anymore!” after a few minutes of shouting encouragement at him from half way up the hill to no avail, I knew I needed to change tack.

I went back down the hill, crouched down to his level and asked him if he wanted me to let him in on a secret trick I knew that would help him get up the hill. He nodded reluctantly. “Stand up” I said, he got up “now hold my hand and start walking with me”, he wasn’t sure about it at first but then I started chanting “I can do it, I am strong” he walked alongside me sulking while also trying not to laugh, but walking nonetheless. “Come on, sing it with me!” I said “I can do it, I am strong!” He refused to sing, but started to march at my pace in time with the chant.

Before long he started running, let go of my hand and said with a huge grin on his face “I can do it Mama, I am strong!” as he ran ahead of me. When we got to the top of the hill, I thought he would run out of steam and it was still a good 5 minute walk to our house but I was wrong, he carried on singing “I can do it, I am strong!” and raced me the whole way home.

As we ran and laughed together, I thought about just how powerful language is. Of course, if we’re trying to walk up a hill repeating over and over “I can’t do it” it’s going to make us feel like we have lead in our shoes. However, changing our mantra to “I can do it, I am strong.” had the opposite effect.

The following week, when we did the walk for a second time, I was shocked by what happened. As we got to the same point in the walk, without any prompting from me, both my 3 year old and my 5 year old ran up the hill holding hands and chanting “I can do it, I am strong!”

Neither of them asked to be carried that day.

Such is the power of mindset and being mindful of what we tell ourselves.

Even though it was me who helped my son change his internal dialogue and come from a more positive place, I was stunned by how quickly he went from feeling exhausted, defeated and rooted in impossibility to literally skipping up the hill and then running the rest of the way home.

I have seen the effects of what I tell myself often in my personal and professional life. How about you?

Let’s look at your language

I have an exercise for you. Why don’t you take 5 minutes now to open up a notebook, grab a pen and write your answers to the following questions:

1. What have I been telling myself I can’t do lately? (Such as I can’t get clients or I can’t make videos)

2. What have I been telling myself I’m no good at lately? (Such as I’m no good at writing or I’m rubbish at public speaking)

3. Where have I been using words like “always” and “never”? (Such as people always cancel on me last minute or I never meet my goals)

Next, I want you to ask yourself if any of those things are really true or if there is scope in there for improvement and growth.

The best practice I know for reducing negative thinking

As I reflected on my 2022 at the end of the year, I, myself, came to the realisation that I had gotten into a bad habit of being negative. After a challenging few years, both personally and collectively, I think that many of us have. Normally though I’m actually a very positive and optimistic person and desperate to get back to that I bought myself and my love copies of The Five Minute Journal. It’s basically a gratitude journal.

We’ve been doing it religiously and the impact is undeniable. I feel happier, healthier and all around more positive and excited about my present and my future. How? By taking time each day to focus on the good in my life. The journal has daily prompts for us to complete in the morning and then others before we go to bed. We haven’t missed a single entry since starting.

When we’re struggling in business it can feel hard to practice gratitude, I see it all the time. Clients will complain to me that only 5 people liked their post or only 3 people responded to a question they asked in an email. Rather than focus on the 5 or 3 people who have engaged with our work, we focus on all those who haven’t. It’s human nature.

However, if we can raise our awareness and learn to focus on the good things happening in our life and business, I truly believe that we inevitably create more of those things. Don’t ask me how it works, I’m no expert in manifesting, but I do know that gratitude is magical.

In my negative mindspace I would have dismissed the power of having a growth mindset or a practice of gratitude but lately, I’ve seen firsthand the incredible benefits of both.

How about you? Is your mindset where you want it to be or could it use some work? If the latter, I encourage you to start watching your words, those you speak out loud and those you say to yourself and see if some adjustments might be in order. It’s not about denying our feelings but rather shifting our focus. Personally, I find it’s harder to feel a sense of lack when I’m focused on the good in my life and oh my is there a lot of good.

SIGN UP FOR MY SOULFUL STRATEGIES WEEKLY

Once a week, in the form of an e-letter, I share the best of what I know about building a business with integrity for conscious business owners.

The intention behind these letters is to be a voice for integrity within your (undoubtedly) cluttered inbox. To be the one email you can count on to contain strategic and soulful advice for building a business without selling your soul.

If you want to receive the Soulful Strategies Weekly, simply share with me your name and email address below and you’ll start recieving emails right away.

What To Do If You’ve Lost Your Business Mojo

by carolineleon | Jan 11, 2023 | Mindset, Uncategorized

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
– Maya Angelou

I’d like to talk to you about something that came up in a client session and how to make sense of it. What to do when we lose our business mojo or feel like we’ve fallen out of love with our business. Having been through this myself and coached countless others through it, I wanted to share the 4 main reasons behind this feeling and what to do about it.

You need to be doing something else entirely

This is the one I think is the least common but ironically it’s where many business owners go first. You might have experienced the “burn it all to the ground” feeling yourself. You know the one, when you just feel so sick of your business that you find yourself daydreaming about doing something completely different, like a whole other niche or even giving up on being a business owner altogether and getting a job. I think we’ve all been there at some point or another.

Rather than burning your business to the ground, however, I’m going to suggest that we can usually rekindle our love for our business by making one of three changes. Perhaps, there is a change you need to make regarding what you are doing in your business, or there is a change you need to make regarding how you are doing things in your business or maybe you’re feeling disillusioned and beaten down by a lack of tangible results and a change of thinking about what that means is all that is needed.

Let’s look at each of these in turn.

**You need to change what you are doing**

This is where we need to consider what we are doing in our business. This could be within our business model (the products and services we offer) or it could be within the back end of the business (how we administrate and manage our business). Perhaps we are offering long-term 1:1 coaching packages when our sweet spot would be one off single sessions. Perhaps we’re offering a group program when our sweet spot would be getting creative with online courses. Perhaps we love delivering our services but hate the marketing and admin involved in running our business.

Whatever it is, there’s a chance that you could easily reignite your passion for your business if you just make some changes to what you are doing. Given we’re nearing the end of the year, it’s the perfect time to to review what you do in your business and what you could do differently in 2023.

Suggested action:

Open up a blank page on your computer or in a notebook and write at the top of it the following question: What am I doing in my business that I really don’t enjoy? Then go ahead and list out everything that you DO in your business that feels heavy or drains you of energy. Once you have your list go though it line by line and write one of the following options: Stop, Change, Delegate or Automate.

You essentially want to assess each item on your list and ask yourself can I stop doing this altogether? Can I change what I am doing here (For example, changing long-term coaching programs to short-term or single sessions) or is this a task I can delegate to someone else or automate with a piece of software or a process?

You need to change how you are doing it

This is one that came up for me many years ago when I started to fall out of love with my 1:1 coaching service. It was back when I was life coaching and I had reached a point in my business where things were going really well, my prices were at an all time high and I had more clients saying yes to working together than ever before.

The odd thing was I started to dread going to work on my business on a daily basis and I couldn’t for the life of me work out why. I was so confused that I should feel this way, just as I was starting to see real success with my coaching. A few months later after several conversations with coaches and mentors of my own, I finally worked out that the success I had been experiencing had changed how I was showing up to my client calls.

Because of the higher price and higher numbers of clients, I had unconsciously started to worry about losing it all, this had made me less bold in my coaching and had brought the people pleaser out in me. Instead of challenging my clients, I was appeasing them. Of course, this felt awful and once I rectified it, I started to enjoy my clients sessions once again.

I share this example as a way to illustrate the idea that how we are showing up our work can really affect how we feel about our work. This is just one example. For you, it might be how you’re doing your marketing. See here for more on that.

Suggested action:

Open up a blank page on your computer or in a notebook and write at the top of it the following question:
Is there anything in the way I am delivering my offerings that could be contributing to the funk I am feeling?
Journal on this question until you’ve explored everything about the way in which you are showing up to and delivering your work. Given that there might be things here that you are unaware of, you might also want to consider talking it through with a business colleague, coach or mentor.

You’re feeling disillusioned with a lack of results

This is a big one. I see business owners dealing with some version of this on a regular basis. In response, I often talk about the business journey, which takes us from point A — starting our business to point B — succeeding in our business and the fact that during any time in between those 2 points, we’re likely to experience phases where we feel disillusioned or frustrated that we’re not where we want to be yet.

One antidote to this is to manage our expectations. Many of us are operating in a toxic online marketplace, where the predominant narrative is one of fast and exponential success. What I’ve realised from over 10 years of working for myself and over 6 years of supporting other business owners to succeed is that slow, incremental success is not only more realistic, but it’s also more fulfilling and long-lasting.

Suggested action:

Read this article I wrote on the pains of business growth and this article on the stages of business growth.

Next take some time to think about and question your inner dialogue about your progress. I talk to business owners all the time who are seeing results, but, because they are not as big as they want or expect, they dismiss them.

Next open up a blank page on your computer or in a notebook and write at the top of it the following question: What can I celebrate today about my business growth journey? Write down all your wins, the small and big ones — you’ll be surprised how easily we forget what is actually working when we are so focused on what is not.

So I’m curious, for those of you feeling in a funk with your business, has this helped shed any light? If so, please let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.

SIGN UP FOR MY SOULFUL STRATEGIES WEEKLY

Once a week, in the form of an e-letter, I share the best of what I know about building a business with integrity for conscious business owners.

The intention behind these letters is to be a voice for integrity within your (undoubtedly) cluttered inbox. To be the one email you can count on to contain strategic and soulful advice for building a business without selling your soul.

If you want to receive the Soulful Strategies Weekly, simply share with me your name and email address below and you’ll start recieving emails right away.