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Mindset Lessons From A Five Year Old

Mindset Lessons From A Five Year Old

“The mind is a powerful thing. It can take you through walls.”
~ Denis Avey

I want to tell you a cute story about my kid. One of our new family habits for 2023 is to go on a walk in nature every Sunday morning. The walk takes me about 40 minutes fast-walking and at times it’s through rough terrain following the path of the river. It’s a walk I’ve done many times on my own, but never with the boys.

The first time we did it as a family, we weren’t sure if we’d get the whole way around my usual route, given that the boys are only 5 and 3. But we’ve seen how much energy they have, so with snacks and breaks, I was prepared to bet on them making it, albeit with my youngest doing some shoulder riding for sure.

As we neared the end of the walk, we were met with a bit of a hill to get from the river back up to the road into town. By this point our 3 year old, Oliver was on Joan’s shoulders and my 5 year old, Oscar started demanding that he too be carried. I have a bad back so it wasn’t an option for me to carry him (at nearly 6 years old, he’s pretty heavy!) and Joan already had Oliver on his shoulders, so we told him it wasn’t possible and carried on walking.

He refused and sat down on a low wall at the bottom of the hill — he folded his arms and said “I can’t — my legs won’t work anymore!” after a few minutes of shouting encouragement at him from half way up the hill to no avail, I knew I needed to change tack.

I went back down the hill, crouched down to his level and asked him if he wanted me to let him in on a secret trick I knew that would help him get up the hill. He nodded reluctantly. “Stand up” I said, he got up “now hold my hand and start walking with me”, he wasn’t sure about it at first but then I started chanting “I can do it, I am strong” he walked alongside me sulking while also trying not to laugh, but walking nonetheless. “Come on, sing it with me!” I said “I can do it, I am strong!” He refused to sing, but started to march at my pace in time with the chant.

Before long he started running, let go of my hand and said with a huge grin on his face “I can do it Mama, I am strong!” as he ran ahead of me. When we got to the top of the hill, I thought he would run out of steam and it was still a good 5 minute walk to our house but I was wrong, he carried on singing “I can do it, I am strong!” and raced me the whole way home.

As we ran and laughed together, I thought about just how powerful language is. Of course, if we’re trying to walk up a hill repeating over and over “I can’t do it” it’s going to make us feel like we have lead in our shoes. However, changing our mantra to “I can do it, I am strong.” had the opposite effect.

The following week, when we did the walk for a second time, I was shocked by what happened. As we got to the same point in the walk, without any prompting from me, both my 3 year old and my 5 year old ran up the hill holding hands and chanting “I can do it, I am strong!”

Neither of them asked to be carried that day.

Such is the power of mindset and being mindful of what we tell ourselves.

Even though it was me who helped my son change his internal dialogue and come from a more positive place, I was stunned by how quickly he went from feeling exhausted, defeated and rooted in impossibility to literally skipping up the hill and then running the rest of the way home.

I have seen the effects of what I tell myself often in my personal and professional life. How about you?

Let’s look at your language

I have an exercise for you. Why don’t you take 5 minutes now to open up a notebook, grab a pen and write your answers to the following questions:

1. What have I been telling myself I can’t do lately? (Such as I can’t get clients or I can’t make videos)

2. What have I been telling myself I’m no good at lately? (Such as I’m no good at writing or I’m rubbish at public speaking)

3. Where have I been using words like “always” and “never”? (Such as people always cancel on me last minute or I never meet my goals)

Next, I want you to ask yourself if any of those things are really true or if there is scope in there for improvement and growth.

The best practice I know for reducing negative thinking

As I reflected on my 2022 at the end of the year, I, myself, came to the realisation that I had gotten into a bad habit of being negative. After a challenging few years, both personally and collectively, I think that many of us have. Normally though I’m actually a very positive and optimistic person and desperate to get back to that I bought myself and my love copies of The Five Minute Journal. It’s basically a gratitude journal.

We’ve been doing it religiously and the impact is undeniable. I feel happier, healthier and all around more positive and excited about my present and my future. How? By taking time each day to focus on the good in my life. The journal has daily prompts for us to complete in the morning and then others before we go to bed. We haven’t missed a single entry since starting.

When we’re struggling in business it can feel hard to practice gratitude, I see it all the time. Clients will complain to me that only 5 people liked their post or only 3 people responded to a question they asked in an email. Rather than focus on the 5 or 3 people who have engaged with our work, we focus on all those who haven’t. It’s human nature.

However, if we can raise our awareness and learn to focus on the good things happening in our life and business, I truly believe that we inevitably create more of those things. Don’t ask me how it works, I’m no expert in manifesting, but I do know that gratitude is magical.

In my negative mindspace I would have dismissed the power of having a growth mindset or a practice of gratitude but lately, I’ve seen firsthand the incredible benefits of both.

How about you? Is your mindset where you want it to be or could it use some work? If the latter, I encourage you to start watching your words, those you speak out loud and those you say to yourself and see if some adjustments might be in order. It’s not about denying our feelings but rather shifting our focus. Personally, I find it’s harder to feel a sense of lack when I’m focused on the good in my life and oh my is there a lot of good.

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Once a week, in the form of an e-letter, I share the best of what I know about building a business with integrity for conscious business owners.

The intention behind these letters is to be a voice for integrity within your (undoubtedly) cluttered inbox. To be the one email you can count on to contain strategic and soulful advice for building a business without selling your soul.

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What To Do If You’ve Lost Your Business Mojo

What To Do If You’ve Lost Your Business Mojo

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
– Maya Angelou

I’d like to talk to you about something that came up in a client session and how to make sense of it. What to do when we lose our business mojo or feel like we’ve fallen out of love with our business. Having been through this myself and coached countless others through it, I wanted to share the 4 main reasons behind this feeling and what to do about it.

This is the one I think is the least common but ironically it’s where many business owners go first. You might have experienced the “burn it all to the ground” feeling yourself. You know the one, when you just feel so sick of your business that you find yourself daydreaming about doing something completely different, like a whole other niche or even giving up on being a business owner altogether and getting a job. I think we’ve all been there at some point or another.

Rather than burning your business to the ground, however, I’m going to suggest that we can usually rekindle our love for our business by making one of three changes. Perhaps, there is a change you need to make regarding what you are doing in your business, or there is a change you need to make regarding how you are doing things in your business or maybe you’re feeling disillusioned and beaten down by a lack of tangible results and a change of thinking about what that means is all that is needed.

Let’s look at each of these in turn.

This is where we need to consider what we are doing in our business. This could be within our business model (the products and services we offer) or it could be within the back end of the business (how we administrate and manage our business). Perhaps we are offering long-term 1:1 coaching packages when our sweet spot would be one off single sessions. Perhaps we’re offering a group program when our sweet spot would be getting creative with online courses. Perhaps we love delivering our services but hate the marketing and admin involved in running our business.

Whatever it is, there’s a chance that you could easily reignite your passion for your business if you just make some changes to what you are doing. Given we’re nearing the end of the year, it’s the perfect time to to review what you do in your business and what you could do differently in 2023.

Suggested action:

Open up a blank page on your computer or in a notebook and write at the top of it the following question: What am I doing in my business that I really don’t enjoy? Then go ahead and list out everything that you DO in your business that feels heavy or drains you of energy. Once you have your list go though it line by line and write one of the following options: Stop, Change, Delegate or Automate.

You essentially want to assess each item on your list and ask yourself can I stop doing this altogether? Can I change what I am doing here (For example, changing long-term coaching programs to short-term or single sessions) or is this a task I can delegate to someone else or automate with a piece of software or a process?

This is one that came up for me many years ago when I started to fall out of love with my 1:1 coaching service. It was back when I was life coaching and I had reached a point in my business where things were going really well, my prices were at an all time high and I had more clients saying yes to working together than ever before.

The odd thing was I started to dread going to work on my business on a daily basis and I couldn’t for the life of me work out why. I was so confused that I should feel this way, just as I was starting to see real success with my coaching. A few months later after several conversations with coaches and mentors of my own, I finally worked out that the success I had been experiencing had changed how I was showing up to my client calls.

Because of the higher price and higher numbers of clients, I had unconsciously started to worry about losing it all, this had made me less bold in my coaching and had brought the people pleaser out in me. Instead of challenging my clients, I was appeasing them. Of course, this felt awful and once I rectified it, I started to enjoy my clients sessions once again.

I share this example as a way to illustrate the idea that how we are showing up our work can really affect how we feel about our work. This is just one example. For you, it might be how you’re doing your marketing. See here for more on that.

Suggested action:

Open up a blank page on your computer or in a notebook and write at the top of it the following question:
Is there anything in the way I am delivering my offerings that could be contributing to the funk I am feeling?
Journal on this question until you’ve explored everything about the way in which you are showing up to and delivering your work. Given that there might be things here that you are unaware of, you might also want to consider talking it through with a business colleague, coach or mentor.

This is a big one. I see business owners dealing with some version of this on a regular basis. In response, I often talk about the business journey, which takes us from point A — starting our business to point B — succeeding in our business and the fact that during any time in between those 2 points, we’re likely to experience phases where we feel disillusioned or frustrated that we’re not where we want to be yet.

One antidote to this is to manage our expectations. Many of us are operating in a toxic online marketplace, where the predominant narrative is one of fast and exponential success. What I’ve realised from over 10 years of working for myself and over 6 years of supporting other business owners to succeed is that slow, incremental success is not only more realistic, but it’s also more fulfilling and long-lasting.

Suggested action:

Read this article I wrote on the pains of business growth and this article on the stages of business growth.

Next take some time to think about and question your inner dialogue about your progress. I talk to business owners all the time who are seeing results, but, because they are not as big as they want or expect, they dismiss them.

Next open up a blank page on your computer or in a notebook and write at the top of it the following question: What can I celebrate today about my business growth journey? Write down all your wins, the small and big ones — you’ll be surprised how easily we forget what is actually working when we are so focused on what is not.

So I’m curious, for those of you feeling in a funk with your business, has this helped shed any light? If so, please let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.

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Once a week, in the form of an e-letter, I share the best of what I know about building a business with integrity for conscious business owners.

The intention behind these letters is to be a voice for integrity within your (undoubtedly) cluttered inbox. To be the one email you can count on to contain strategic and soulful advice for building a business without selling your soul.

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Five Things I’m Doing To Start The Year Off Well

Five Things I’m Doing To Start The Year Off Well

“If you believe you can change — if you make it a habit — the change becomes real.”
~ Charles Duhigg
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I want to share with you five things that I’m doing to start the year off well. My hope is that they may inspire your own list of things that can support you to start the year on the right foot.

The key to all of these things is that mainly they are not specifically “business” related. They are things that are key to improving my personal life, which I know will, in turn, have a positive impact on my business.

1. Clearing my space

I spent several hours cleaning and organising my office. I’m so grateful to have a dedicated room from which to run my business, however, when we moved into the new house, my office was a hot mess of boxes, piles of paper and uncared for plants. Not a space I really enjoyed spending time in.

I got ruthless and threw a lot of old papers into the recycling, found a home for everything that needed one, watered and pruned my plants and cleaned the floor and surfaces. It felt sooo good.

It was so wonderful to start the day in this space and I know that keeping it clean and organised is going to be essential for my mental wellbeing over the year. Clutter and chaos in my external environment definitely has a negative impact on how I feel on the inside so I’m excited to cultivate more calm by keeping my office tidy and organised.

2. Getting more sleep

I typically don’t get enough sleep. Period. On a daily basis, by the time my partner and I have got our two boys to bed, tidied up and washed the dishes, it usually close to 10pm. Given that we need and want some time to relax, decompress and connect with each other before bed, this means we often go to bed way too late. We were often getting to sleep as late as midnight, only for our alarm to go off at 6.30am! Cue exhaustion.

We’ve spent a lot of time talking about how to fix this, including getting better at meal-planning so that we can eat earlier and thus start the boys bedtime routine earlier, so that we can be ready to start winding down at 9pm instead of 10pm. We’ve made a promising start on this.

We’re also committed to having less screen time in the evenings and reading more before bed so that we sleep better.

3. Daily meditation

My mind, body and soul has been craving more mindfulness in my day to day for months (if not years!) now. Having small children and a busy business to look after has meant that some of my spiritual practices have taken a back seat in recent years. I’m also not one who does well with typical, silent, sitting meditation and so for many years my meditative practice was running. However, since having children, as a result of a compromised pelvic floor and related lower back pain, running hasn’t been on the agenda for me.

A while ago my partner bought me some virtual reality goggles for my birthday so that I could use them for fitness classes when weather or workload prevented me from getting outside to exercise. What I’ve discovered recently is that they are also great for meditation.

I’ve found an amazing app called Tripp, which I’ve been using morning and night to meditate. The interactive, immersive nature of the guided meditations really works for me and I’m already feeling so much calmer and less stressed out.

4. Daily exercise

This one is huge for me. I know that a lack of exercise in recent years has left me low on energy and feeling disconnected from my body. Working online means I’m sitting down for much of the day and a lack of movement over time leaves me feeling sore and achy and less inclined to move my body. It’s a negative cycle.

I’m now doing a combination of walks in nature and boxing and dance classes on my virtual reality goggles to make sure I spend some time each day moving my body.

We also dusted off our bicycles at the weekend and went on a lovely family bike ride in nature which is something we’re committed to doing more of as a family. Being more active gives me heaps more energy.

5. Drinking more water

For years I’ve been in the bad habit of making myself a cup of coffee to drink on my client calls. Given that I can often have as many as 3 or 4 sessions a day, my caffeine intake has definitely contributed to low-level feelings of stress a feeling of being wired. And given that my go-to drink is coffee, I’m aware that I’m in no way drinking enough water and that doing so has a negative impact on my energy levels and overall sense of well being.

I’ve committed to drinking more water each day so that I avoid the effects of low-level dehydration and reap the benefits of drinking enough water each day.

And that’s it, five new habits (not resolutions) that I’m committed to implementing in my life this year.

I appreciate that none of the things on this list are particularly groundbreaking, but it’s been really helpful for me to think about the key habits I want to put in place that will have a ripple effect on both my personal and professional life. How about you? What new habits might support you in 2023? Feel free to let me know in the comments.

SIGN UP FOR MY SOULFUL STRATEGIES WEEKLY

 

Once a week, in the form of an e-letter, I share the best of what I know about building a business with integrity for conscious business owners.

The intention behind these letters is to be a voice for integrity within your (undoubtedly) cluttered inbox. To be the one email you can count on to contain strategic and soulful advice for building a business without selling your soul.

If you want to receive the Soulful Strategies Weekly, simply share with me your name and email address below and you’ll start recieving emails right away.

My Word Of The Year (+ The Story Behind It)

My Word Of The Year (+ The Story Behind It)

“When we stop growing, we stop living and start existing.”
~ Warren Wiersbe

This blog is a bit different, in that I’m not here to share a business strategy with you, more the personal story behind the word I’ve chosen as my theme for next year. 

My personal growth journey started back in 2010. I was in the middle of a nasty and toxic break-up, my self-esteem was rock-bottom and in a moment where I realised I needed help, I booked an appointment with a therapist. And thus my healing journey began. Those first few years were huge, I became celibate and sober, I started a blog, I quit my career, I sold everything I owned and bought a one-way ticket to Thailand. From there, I travelled, did hours and hours and hours of yoga, tried out various healing modalities, attended meditation retreats, found myself, learned to love myself and as a result met the love of my life.

From there we travelled some more, I built a business as a coach, lived off the grid in a remote village in Mexico for a year and finally returned to Europe to start a family. From 2016, I navigated the adventures of pregnancy, motherhood, and moving house, all while launching and growing my second business.

It’s safe to say that my personal and professional growth journey, during the decade 2010–2020, was truly epic.

And then something else happened. In 2018 after experiencing some level of burn-out (characterised by sheer exhaustion and chronic bouts of illness), I hit the reset button. I became all about doing less and finding ease. So much so that my word of the year for the past two years has been ease. But it hasn’t been easy, at the end of 2019, I gave birth to my second son, just as my business was booming, and there I was navigating being a mother to two boys while single-handedly managing a thriving business. It’s been a slog. 

And somewhere along the line, I feel as though I stopped growing and simply started existing.

A few days ago, I was unpacking boxes of books in my office and came across a box FULL of personal journals and notebooks from years gone by. I was blown away by what those notebooks contained. In my words, there was so much awe and wonder at the limitless possibilities there are available to us at any moment.

As I read them I couldn’t decide if my younger self was naive or my current self, jaded. After sleeping on it, I came down on the side of the latter. I realise that with the busyness of being a parent and a business owner, I’ve lost my connection to my own sense of personal (and even professional) growth. 

Given the huge leaps I made in that decade of growth, it’s almost as if somewhere inside of me, I had started to believe that I had reached my limit. Having hit so many of personal and professional goals, it’s like I had unconsciously told myself, well that’s it, job done, now you just have to maintain it. 

I know that part of this plateau has been complacency, especially in my business. After years of struggling in the feast and famine stage and then finally having my business take off, there has undoubtedly been a trend of sticking with what I know works, to stop experimenting so much and thus take my eyes off learning new strategies. 

On a personal level, another part of this has been hitting middle age. As a 45 year old woman, who has had two children late in life, there has been, for me, a gnawing sense that my best years are behind me. That my levels of fitness, capacity for adventure and ability to stretch myself have already hit their peak. 

When I caught this limiting belief recently, it was like a siren sounding. Since then it’s felt like a spark has been ignited once again. I’ve come to realise that over the past couple of years I have stopped growing, stopped learning, stopped having breakthroughs and insights, stopped having my mind blown by new ideas. I realise now that there’s been an unconscious script playing in the background that’s been telling me I’ve done all the growing I’m going to do.

What a load of BS! 

And that is why my word of the year for 2023 is growth.

G-R-O-W-T-H

It’s time for me to break out of the personal and professional plateau I’ve been on for some time now and re-engage my beginner’s mind. To allow myself to believe that new heights are possible in all areas of my life. I feel tentative and excited in equal measure. I want 2023 to be a year that I learn new things and grow in new ways. I want to ditch the feeling that I’ve peaked already, that the only way left is to stay the same (or slowly decline). I truly believe that there are new heights to be experienced, if I’m only willing to believe in the possibilities. 

And that’s why I am sharing this with you here. For my sake — to speak out loud the story I’ve been telling myself and to put in black and white my intention for the year ahead. 

And for you — in case you too are harbouring limiting beliefs about what’s possible for you in 2023. I’m excited for you to consider what could unfold for you, if you were willing to believe in the possibilities?

Have you set your word of the year for 2023? If so, I’d love to know what it is. Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

SIGN UP FOR MY SOULFUL STRATEGIES WEEKLY

 

Once a week, in the form of an e-letter, I share the best of what I know about building a business with integrity for conscious business owners.

The intention behind these letters is to be a voice for integrity within your (undoubtedly) cluttered inbox. To be the one email you can count on to contain strategic and soulful advice for building a business without selling your soul.

If you want to receive the Soulful Strategies Weekly, simply share with me your name and email address below and you’ll start recieving emails right away.

10 Practical Ways To Minimise Business Overwhelm

10 Practical Ways To Minimise Business Overwhelm

dded”Putting first things first means organizing and executing around your most important priorities. It is living and being driven by the principles you value most, not by the agendas and forces surrounding you.”
~ Dr. Stephen R. Covey

In this blog, I’m sharing 10 practical things you can do to better understand overwhelm and to minimise its impact on your day-to-day business activities.

For me overwhelm is nearly always an indicator of fear. When I feel overwhelmed I know that, in that moment, my mind has lost sight of the here and now, that I’ve become attached to some desired outcome in the future and the overwhelm has crept into the space between the two.

For me overwhelm is the fear that I won’t realise my desired outcome and a sign that I’ve become focused on how things should be versus how they are and then from that place taking the single most simple next step.

If overwhelm is affecting your ability to get things done in your business (or just making you feel low), take a look through this list and choose the actions that speak to you.

1. Get it out of your head.

The first thing I do when I recognise that I am feeling overwhelmed is to make a list of everything on my plate. It sounds super simple because it is. Making a list gets all of the various things you are juggling out of your head and onto a piece of paper, the key is to include everything no matter how small or silly they may seem.

I’ll never forget the most powerful coaching session I ever had (and I’ve had many!). I got on the call with my coach and I was feeling terrible, really low and totally overwhelmed. He told me to open up my notebook and write down the number one thing that was bothering me. After that, he asked me what else? And what else? And what else? Until I had filled four pages of my notebook. At the end of it, we reviewed the list and he said to me “no wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed, who wouldn’t with all of this to deal with?” I instantly felt better. Just getting those things off my chest and out of my head eased the feeling of overwhelm significantly.

The overwhelm was coming from feeling like I should have had it more together, the overwhelm dissipated when I found a place of acceptance with what was.

2. Prioritise.

Once you’ve made your list, you’ll want to organise it. Often when we are feeling overwhelmed, we’re ruminating on the million different things that we believe we could or should be doing, instead of focusing on the next most important step. Here’s where we need to prioritise. Personally, I like to organise my tasks using Stephen Covey’s 4 quadrants (see image below) so that I can quickly eliminate anything that is not important (Quadrants 3+4) and spend my valuable time on what is important (quadrants 1+2). I no longer need to use the 4 quadrants diagram to do this, these days, I instinctively know what is important and/or urgent and can disregard the rest.

To deal with my most important tasks for the day, I like to identify them and then schedule them in my diary, so that I can take into account any pre-existing appointments and how long things get done. If that means I can only do 1–3 of the urgent and important tasks on my list then that is what I schedule, nothing more.

I also recommend never committing to more than 3 tasks a day regardless of the time and space you have. Any more than 3 and our minds inevitably veer towards overwhelm. Besides, there’s nothing to stop you from doing more if you get your 3 things done early.

3. Limit your inputs.

Given the world we now live in, it’s no wonder that overwhelm is a common occurrence. We are bombarded by information on a second by second basis. With the internet, social media and the accompanying barrage of pings, notifications and reminders, not being in a state of overwhelm can often feel like an insurmountable task.

This is where it becomes really important to limit your inputs. There are plenty of things you can do to minimise this assault on your senses. Turn off notifications, remove apps from your phone if you have to, delay checking email until later in the day and avoid mainstream media at all costs (if you want to protect your mental health!).

I was talking to someone once who always seemed to be overwhelmed and depressed by the state of the world yet continued to digest the very mainstream media that perpetuated that state. I make a conscious choice not to watch or read mainstream media, precisely because I know that is designed to play on our fears in order to maximise profits.

If there are inputs in your life that don’t serve you, my best advice is to limit or eliminate them. This can take time, but it’s often easier to do than you think. Next time you’re on the receiving end of something that leaves you feeling overwhelmed ask yourself, can I eliminate this somehow? (unsubscribe, block, remove notifications or stop participating in).

4. Watch your mindset.

Sometimes when we have found something overwhelming in the past (like schedules, social media, finances or planning), we develop a fixed mindset around it, i.e. we get very black and white about it. We start to believe that we just don’t do well with that thing and immediately start to feel overwhelmed when faced with it.

I’d like to gently challenge you here to cultivate a growth mindset and create space for something new to emerge. I’ll give you a personal example. For years, I told myself that I was terrible at focus and found it very hard to concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time. After living for several years with someone who is incredibly focused (sometimes to the extreme), I started to notice my own capacity for focused work increase.

When I allowed myself to question the assumption that I was a person who was very easily distracted and therefore unable to focus, change became possible. These days I wouldn’t dream of describing myself as unfocused — quite the opposite. I’m perfectly capable of sitting down to a piece of work and getting into a focused state for several hours if I have to. By allowing myself to believe that I could become a focused person and working on the skillset to achieve that, I became one.

Consider when in your business life you always revert to a state of overwhelm, is there a possible mindset shift here?

6. Shine a light.

Fear lives in the dark — when we shine a light on something, it can become less scary and overwhelming, If we’re scared of numbers, then working on our financials will feel overwhelming and uncomfortable. That’s because there is a barely audible script running in the background telling us we don’t know what we’re doing.

If you become conscious of that script and seek to change it by empowering yourself with knowledge, then change is possible. Why not take some to learn more about something you find overwhelming and watch the overwhelm dissipate.

When we know how to do something, we feel good about doing it.

So consider now what things in your business are causing overwhelm because of a lack of knowledge or skill and then take some steps to rectify that.

7. Focus on the present.

As I’ve already mentioned I’m a firm believer that overwhelm occurs when we’ve become disconnected from the present moment. So it follows that one way to ease feelings of overwhelm is to do something to connect with the present moment.

One way to do this is to bring our attention to the breath. Another might be to get out of our heads and into our bodies. If you don’t have a regular mindfulness practice like meditation, yoga, movement or dance, consider starting one. I truly believe you’ll notice the impact it has on your feelings of overwhelm.

8. Simplify the task/offering.

Often we feel overwhelmed because we simply have too much to do. I know that there are times in my working week when there are more things that need to be completed than I have time in the day to complete them.

Here is where I recommend scaling back what you do to make your tasks/offerings simpler. Let me give you some examples.

If you offer 1:1 and started out by always writing up post-session notes to send to clients, but as you’ve got more and more clients, now struggle to find the time, stop doing it.

If when you send your weekly newsletter you always like to share at least 5 links to other useful resources but you’re finding it takes too long to pull these together, give yourself permission to stop doing it.

A lot of the people I work with (and I include myself in this camp) are chronic over givers/perfectionists. Meaning there is often scope to scale back how much we do in any given task or client offering. It can feel challenging to pare things down but believe me, the extra space it will give you will be worth it.

9. Adjust your expectations.

Closely related to #8 but more focused on how we think about what we offer. It’s important to acknowledge when our expectations are too high.

I was talking to a client a while ago who has these amazing templates she uses in her business, they are gold. In a beta collaboration, she was working on, she had agreed to turn her (already amazing) templates into workbooks, but doing so was kicking her butt, she was facing a launch deadline and on top of her heavy client load, she was struggling to get the work done.

I suggested that she simply use the templates as they were. Nobody would know the difference having seen neither format and given the templates, as is, are already brilliant and worth more than the whole beta program would cost, it wouldn’t devalue the offering one bit. Such a simple shift, but one that took a whole lot of pressure off and created a truckload of new space in her calendar.

10. Choose differently.

In another piece of writing, I talk about how my own personal epiphany about overwhelm came after reading an article by a coach who argued that overwhelm is a choice. This idea can be triggering for some people, but for me it was life-changing. Knowing that there are things I do that contribute to my feeling of overwhelm and things I can do to minimise them means that I have some control over whether I am in a state of overwhelm or not.

I’m not saying that it’s always as simple as choosing not to be overwhelmed but acknowledging that there is a choice really helps me. To understand more what I mean by this final point head here to read an article I wrote on this very idea.

And there you have it, 10 things you can do to minimise business related overwhelm. I hope you find them useful.

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The intention behind these letters is to be a voice for integrity within your (undoubtedly) cluttered inbox. To be the one email you can count on to contain strategic and soulful advice for building a business without selling your soul.

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What I Do When I Don’t Feel Like Working On My Business

What I Do When I Don’t Feel Like Working On My Business

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day, saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’

~ Mary Anne Radmacherost

What I’m not talking about in this blog is not those days when you’re just feeling a bit demotivated, we all have days when we have less energy or feel less inclined to work. On those days, I do believe in picking myself up and doing what I can to get what needs to get done, done.

Instead, what I am talking about in this blog is those times when external circumstances are seriously challenging and impeding our ability to focus. Things like the threat of world war, humanitarian crises, a global pandemic, illness, bereavement, moving house and so on. Big things that affect us deeply and knock us off centre, making it feel extremely difficult to focus on work.

I’m also not talking about work that doesn’t matter, work that you don’t need or truly care about. I’m talking about your livelihood, the work that pays your bills and keeps a roof over your head, your purpose, the work in the world that is deeply important to you and to those you serve.

Navigating difficult times while maintaining your ability to focus on your business becomes crucial in this context. I personally don’t have the luxury of not showing up to work when I don’t feel like it. My business is my livelihood and I have a full roster of clients who are counting on me to be there.

So how have I got through these difficult times, without dropping all the balls, throwing the towel in or killing myself to carry on in the process? On the other side of it, I’m able to share what I’ve done to get through this challenging time.

1. I feel the feels

I allow myself to really feel what I am feeling. This one is easy for me because I’ve never been one to bury or hide my emotions. I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve and been dubbed too sensitive by my family, ever since I can remember.

So in some ways, I don’t really feel I have a choice in this one but it bears mentioning anyway, because so many people feel like they have to hide what they are feeling from their friends and family and also from their clients and colleagues. I don’t do this, I tell my kids when Mama feels sad, I tell my partner when I feel like I’m struggling and I let my friends and clients know when I don’t have it all together.

For me, it would be exhausting to put a brave face on and pretend everything is okay and in not doing so, I believe I release a great deal of pressure on myself.

2. I do less

My typical day-to-day is very full. With my business, a household to run and two energetic little boys to parent, I have a fair amount of stuff to do on a day to day basis. A while ago, I hit a wall with this and just didn’t feel like I had the capacity to keep being as productive as my schedule demanded of me. So after a tearful conversation with my partner, I came to a place of acceptance with the fact that I needed to just do less for a while.

That meant cutting back on non-essential business activities, like this newsletter and the creation of my forthcoming short course and focusing solely on my 1:1 clients and group mastermind.

Instead of using the time between client calls to do admin, work on content or creating new products, I took a pause from work. Sometimes this meant sleeping and sometimes it meant watching the heartbreaking news (not always the best move, but in some ways related to point #1).

It also meant that I wasn’t as on top of other things like housework or doing my daily exercises.

3. I ditch the guilt

Like many people, I can be prone to feeling guilty when I feel like I’m not pulling my weight or doing what I said I was going to do. For example, I’m very aware of a dynamic between me and my partner where I can, if I let myself, start to believe that I am letting the side down when I’m not at my best.

Similarly, when I find myself not sticking to personal plans or goals I’ve set myself, the temptation to start beating myself up is very present. The thing is, I learned many years ago that all guilt does is keep us trapped in a negative loop.

I know that if I make myself feel bad for not feeling great, then I just feel worse than I otherwise would. Whilst I may still succumb to guilt momentarily, these days I’m much better at calling bullshit on it and stopping it in its tracks more quickly.

4. I get support

This one doesn’t come easily to me as I’ve always suffered under the illusion that I can do everything myself. In recent years, however, I’ve gotten much better at seeking out support, from my partner, from friends and even from other practitioners.

I had an incredible EFT session with the wonderful Liesel Teversham and felt so much lighter and even joyful as a result. Just sharing what was up for me and then using EFT to release what wasn’t serving created a powerful shift.

I also upped my virtual assistant’s hours so that she can do more of the busy work that inevitably piles up when I’m not on top of everything. Handing more things over to her over the last few weeks has brought with it a lot of relief.

I know how easy it is to retreat when I’m not feeling at my best and that still happens to a degree for sure, but recognising that there is support available to me and using that support is, and has been, a game changer for me.

5. I don’t let it run on indefinitely

When we cut back on our activities, it can sometimes feel hard to get back to doing them again. I don’t tend to have this problem and I believe it’s because I really allow myself to step back when I need to, in a way that allows me to recharge and come back stronger.

After I have really embraced my feelings, let go of the shoulds, reduced what’s on my plate (without the guilt), rested more, gotten support from others and in doing so, I was able to get myself back to a place where I felt good again fairly quickly.

Then at the beginning of a new week, I mentally prepared myself to start the week with a renewed commitment to my work and to feeling better. I completed my daily exercise, made all the beds and wrote a newsletter. I think it’s safe to say, I was feeling more like me again! 🙂

Is the world still messed up in many ways? Yes. Do I feel more resourced to deal with that? Yes.

So there you have it, five things that help me stay on track, even when I’d rather crawl under the duvet and sleep all day. I hope you find them useful and I would love to hear from you what you do to keep going during difficult times.

SIGN UP FOR MY SOULFUL STRATEGIES WEEKLY

 

Once a week, in the form of an e-letter, I share the best of what I know about building a business with integrity for conscious business owners.

The intention behind these letters is to be a voice for integrity within your (undoubtedly) cluttered inbox. To be the one email you can count on to contain strategic and soulful advice for building a business without selling your soul.

If you want to receive the Soulful Strategies Weekly, simply share with me your name and email address below and you’ll start recieving emails right away.