The Secret To My Consistency

The Secret To My Consistency

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”

~ Confucius

I believe that showing up consistently is one of the key components to business success and also one of the hardest things to do. This is what I have learned about being consistent in both life and work endeavours.

I haven’t always been disciplined. In fact quite the opposite, for many, many years I was a bit of a disaster on that front. In my twenties I would often declare new goals or intentions only to be laughed at by friends. “I’m going to give up alcohol” I would boldly declare. “One day I will run the London Marathon.”, “I’m going to write a novel.” All statements I made, all dismissed or laughed at by friends. Why? Because I was known for having big ideas, but then lacking the discipline and consistency to follow through.

I loved to dream big, but forming consistent habits that helped me to achieve those big dreams was a struggle. I would endeavour to do something, such as give up drinking for example and I would last a few days or even a few weeks before my resolve would crumble and then I’d be back to square one.

Fast forward a couple of decades and I’ve actually achieved all three of those goals and many, many more besides. Now when I say I’m going to do something, friends and family don’t doubt for one minute that I will. People don’t laugh at my lofty goals anymore, they’re inspired by them.

So what changed?

How did I go from having terrible will power and follow through to being disciplined and consistent in both my personal and professional life?

The answer is surprisingly simple. So simple that you might at first dismiss it but I encourage you to really think about what I share and examine how it applies to your life.

In a nutshell, I stopped seeing things as black and white. Good or bad, success or failure. I stopped striving for perfection.

Allow me to explain. In my younger years, if I made a bold statement like I’m going to run every day this year, when the day came that I inevitably couldn’t go for a run — perhaps due to time or health restraints — I would consider that a failure and my thinking would go something like…

I said I was going to run every day, I didn’t run today so I’ve failed at my goal.

End of story. Well not quite the end of the story, because with that perceived failure came a whole load of being hard on myself. Negative self-talk that would have me believe that I was a failure, lacking in will power and incapable of sticking to my goals. You know the sort of thing — the lovely feedback we like to give ourselves that leaves us feeling empowered and motivated to do better (not!)

For many years, I lived in this pattern, slowly undermining my own sense of self worth until gradually I started to see another way. With time I realised the flaw in my black and white thinking and I started to embrace the gray.

I started to see that doing things imperfectly was better than not doing them at all.

That’s how I managed to run a marathon in 2008, even after an injury that prevented me from training for months. I had the perfect excuse to bail on my goal but instead, as soon as I could, I got back out there for my training runs.

When I committed to writing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days back in 2012, it was this new way of thinking that allowed me to come back to and complete the goal, even when by day 25 of 30, I had only written 4,449 words. I don’t mind telling you that those last 5 days were intense!!

And more recently, when I declared that I wanted to do 100 days of walking to get fit again after two babies, I didn’t give up when on day 6 (the first Saturday), I failed to get out for a walk. Instead, I adjusted my goal from 100 consecutive days of walking to 100 days of walking Monday to Friday and then when I missed a Thursday because of a stinking cold, I simply adjusted my goal to 100 days of walking, no matter how long they take. I’ll get to my 100 days and by then it will be a consistent habit and I will be healthier and happier in my body.

Not giving up when I fail to do something perfectly, is one of the most life-changing shifts I’ve ever made.

Coming back to the goal after every slip or stumble is what helps me to stay consistent. Not beating myself up when I don’t do it perfectly is what helps me to stay consistent. Allowing life to get in the way of my ambitions, without then throwing in the towel is what helps me to stay consistent.

How about you? What’s your relationships to goals, commitments and consistency? Does my story help? If so, let me know in the comments.



Once a week, in the form of an e-letter, I share the best of what I know about building a business with integrity for conscious business owners.

The intention behind these letters is to be a voice for integrity within your (undoubtedly) cluttered inbox. To be the one email you can count on to contain strategic and soulful advice for building a business without selling your soul.

If you want to receive the Soulful Strategies Weekly, simply share with me your name and email address below and you’ll start recieving emails right away.

10 Things I Want You To Know About Email Marketing

10 Things I Want You To Know About Email Marketing

“If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.”
~ Katharine Hepburn

In this blog I share 10 ideas about email marketing that will hopefully dispel some common myths about this business practice, as well as give you some ideas to inspire your own email marketing efforts.

I’ve alluded to these ideas in various ways throughout my teaching and 1:1 work but this is the first time I’ve pulled together, in one place, all of my thoughts on email marketing and how to make the most of it for your business. Whilst I am using the catch-all term “email marketing”, what I am mainly referring to here is the practice of sending newsletters to your subscribers.

Let’s take a look at those ideas.

1. Your email list is not your business.

Most mainstream marketing advice will have you believe that your email list is everything. That without a solid list of newsletter subscribers, it’s impossible for your business to succeed. Now whilst I’m a huge fan of writing and sending newsletters to my people and highly recommend it for your business (if you so feel inclined), I don’t believe that any one business strategy or tool is the be all and end all for your business.

For sure there are successful businesses out there who don’t have an email list, as well as many unsuccessful businesses that do!

2. You don’t have to have a big list to make money.

Since I’ve been working online (circa 10 years) the idea that the size of your list determines the level of income you are able to generate has been doing the rounds. I remember years ago working hard to achieve the goal of 1000 subscribers because it was (and still is) said that 1000 subscribers is the magic number needed to start being truly profitable in your business.

This is simply not true.

I’m actually making a lot more money now with a list of less than 1000 than I was in my old life coaching business with a list greater than 1000.

And it’s not just me, I remember collaborating with two colleagues of mine to sell one of my group programs. They agreed to share details of it with their list in exchange for an affiliate payment for any purchases made from their subscribers. The colleague whose list exceeded 1000 and was far bigger than my own at the time, made zero affiliate sales. The second colleague whose list was tiny and far smaller than my own, did.

The moral of this story? When it comes to your email list, quality over quantity is key.

3. You don’t have to focus on list-building.

Say what?! Honestly it’s true. I do not and have not focused on building my list for years now and yet I have a steady rate of growth, which on average looks like a new subscriber every couple of days. Now if you’re looking to get tens of thousands on your list in a fairly short period of time then a new subscriber every other day isn’t going to cut it, but given that I don’t believe that huge numbers are even necessary then this level of growth works well for me.

Even with a smallish list and an average growth of 15 new subscribers a month, my coaching practice is booked up with a waitlist and I often have several applications in for my mastermind, before I’ve even launched it.

So you might be wondering where these new subscribers are coming from if I’m not really doing any list-building activities. Well instead of list-building, my focus is, and has been for many years, on creating valuable content for my audience. Because of this content, people find my articles from searching on Google and on platforms like this and then come to my site to find out more. Once there, because the content they read is helpful to them, they sign-up to my newsletter to get more of the same.

In terms of promoting my newsletter I do just 1 or 2 things. Most of my blog posts have an opt-in box for my newsletter at the bottom (I don’t use pop-ups because we all hate them don’t we?!) which means when people find my content, which I do make an effort to promote, they also get to hear about my newsletter. Very occasionally, I’ll also put out a post letting my audience know the subject of my next email and inviting them to join my list to receive it (just like this one).

4. You do have to focus on engagement.

Whilst I don’t focus on growing my list or selling to my list, one thing I do focus on is engaging with my list. For me, I want to look past the numbers and focus on the very real people who are actually taking the time each week to read what I have to say. I do this in a number of ways.

  • As mentioned above, I make the intention of my newsletters to be practical and useful to the reader.
  • I make invitations to engage directly with me into every single email.
  • In my welcome email, I invite people to complete a short survey so that I can find out more about their particular needs.
  • Now and again, I’ll incorporate surveys into my emails to find out more about what my subscribers want from me.
  • Less so these days because of time constraints, but many times over the years, I’ve looked at who is reading my emails most regularly and will send them a direct and personal email to say hello and ask how I can help.

Engaging with my “list” serves to remind me that real people are on the other side of the metrics (number of subscribers, open rate etc), which is a far more important focus than the stats.

5. You don’t have to sell in every email.

In my research for this piece, I came across this definition from Neil Patel:

“Email marketing is the act of sending promotional messages to people in mass quantities. It typically is to generate sales or leads and it may contain advertising.”

If this is the accepted definition of email marketing then what I’m talking about in this piece is not email marketing.

Do I sell in my emails? Yes (well “sell” might be an overstatement, I prefer to think of it as letting my readers know what’s on offer. Is the primary purpose of my emails to generate sales or leads? No. If it were, I think I’d be dealing with a far higher numbers of unsubscribes. We’ve all been on the receiving end of emails designed to make a sale and we’ve also likely been on the receiving end of emails designed to serve.

I show up to write my newsletter as close to weekly as possible, as a means to serve my audience and deepen relationships with my subscribers. Do I hope to make sales as a result? Of course, I’d be lying if I said otherwise, but I never hold that as the intention behind my words. In fact the opposite, my intention as I write my letters is to help my readers to grow their business whether they decide to buy from me or not.

I believe that having this as the purpose of my emails makes me enjoy writing them so much more and my hope is that it helps my subscribers enjoy reading them so much more.

I do feel I have to add here that this isn’t your permission slip to never talk about your products and services because if you don’t, then you’re doing yourself and your would-be clients a disservice. You absolutely must find a regular rhythm of sharing about your products and services but it does not have to be the focus of your emails. Read this amazing article for another perspective on this.

6. You don’t need a freebie opt-in to grow your list.

I can still remember when I believed that having a freebie opt-in and using content upgrades was the only way to grow my list. Hours were spent trying to figure out what I could possibly create to entice people onto my list. More time spent messing around in Canva to create beautiful PDFs and even more time spent (aka wasted!) trying to figure out how to work the backend so that I could offer different opt-ins and only have one list.

And then about 3 years ago I read an article from the brilliant George Kao titled No More Lead Magnets. In it he argues that making someone pay for something “free” with their email address (i.e. their time and attention), is neither truly authentic nor effective. When people join your list because they want your freebie, you’ll find that they’ll either unsubscribe shortly after downloading said freebie (we’ve all done it!) or they’ll stay on your list but rarely (or never) open your subsequent emails. Which makes sense because they weren’t signing up to receive your newsletters, they were signing up to get the freebie you promoted to them.

Since reading George’s post all those years ago, I got rid of the freebie opt-in on my site and instead focused on promoting and creating a newsletter that people would want to receive. I have a whole page (which you can read here) dedicated to explaining why you might want to join my list

7. You don’t need to pack your emails with lots of content.

Generally, when I start working with clients on their newsletter strategy, they often think that they need to have a ton of content in each email, with links to their own content as well as featuring other people’s content as well as useful resources, what I’m reading etc, etc! Personally I think this is what keeps most people from getting an email out on a regular basis — when we make the task of creating and pulling together our newsletter so big, it can be easy to use the time it takes as an excuse.

I like to keep it super simple by choosing a topic that I know is relevant to my audience (generally it’s something that keeps coming up in my client calls) and I share my best strategies and advice on that one topic. It typically looks like a long-form piece of writing which could also be an article or blog post. Sometimes at the end of the email I’ll share details of one of my products and services and oftentimes I don’t.

When it comes to writing for your business, I have a simple rule — if it feels burdensome and like hard work to create, it will feel burdensome and like hard work to read. Keep it simple for your sake and your readers.

8. You’re not bothering your audience.

More often than not, when we inevitably begin to discuss the idea of sending regular emails to subscribers, clients of mine tend to fear that they’ll be “bothering” their audience by sending out regular emails. This makes sense because for sure, we’ve all at some point or another felt irritated by a barrage of salesy emails from a business owner, we now regret handing our email over to.

The thing is, the people I work with — the likes of you and I — don’t do salesy and barrage, we endeavour to serve and support. Who wouldn’t want to receive a weekly email that contains relevant information for the very thing you are struggling with/working on? Think about the newsletters you love — do you feel bothered by them? No of course not — are they fairly regular and consistent? My best guess, if they are an established business, that they are.

Please drop this idea that you are bothering people when you email them. If you have your newsletter sign up setup ethically, then they have given you their email address with the express wish that you send them useful information.

9. You can repurpose your newsletters.

Rather than see my newsletter as just one more marketing task I have to take on, I use these letters as the place where my newest, most up to date content is created. I then over the course of several months repurpose that content into articles for Medium, LinkedIn and my blog as well as create various posts and stories for social media. This very piece started out as a newsletter!

Rather than these emails be something that I put a lot of effort into creating, to then send to a list of which only half of my subscribers will read, I repurpose the hell out of each and every one and you can do the same. If you want the full low-down on my approach to content marketing head here.

10. You can break the rules (including your own).

My hope is that much of what I’ve shared here goes some way to showing you that many of the email marketing rules out there in the mainstream, can in fact be broken. There absolutely is no one way to do email marketing, there are many and what works for one business owner may fall flat for someone else.

The key is to do what feels aligned. To create what feels exciting for you to create and once you’ve found what works best for you and your readers don’t fall into the trap of thinking you can never change things up. Yes, you can even break your own rules.

So there you have it, 10 things I wanted you to know about email marketing. Was this list helpful? If so, leave a comment below and let me know. I’d love to hear from you.



Once a week, in the form of an e-letter, I share the best of what I know about building a business with integrity for conscious business owners.

The intention behind these letters is to be a voice for integrity within your (undoubtedly) cluttered inbox. To be the one email you can count on to contain strategic and soulful advice for building a business without selling your soul.

If you want to receive the Soulful Strategies Weekly, simply share with me your name and email address below and you’ll start recieving emails right away.

Why + How to Slow Down the Sale

Why + How to Slow Down the Sale

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
~ Lao Tzu

In this blog post I talk about slowing down the sale. Both the importance of it and some practical ways to do it.

It’s important to note that what we’re talking about here is, in the main, the kind of sales made within the context of a conversation, i.e. higher priced services such as 1:1 work or group programs, although some of what I share can be applied to your sales pages for lower priced digital products too.

We are living in a world where speed is celebrated as the be all and end all and nowhere do we see this more than in the world of online business.

Most marketing practices we see online are designed to get people to buy now. We’re encouraged to use false deadlines, trip wires and countdown timers to hurry people along in their decision to buy.

Just recently, whilst reading a newsletter, I felt a wave of disappointment when I followed a link to a recommended training and realised it was one of those pages that gives you just minutes to decide if you want to attend it and then invites you to book a time slot, even though it’s a recording, so the very idea of time slots is something of a nonsense!

We’re taught to play on people’s fear of missing out in order to get them to buy, whether or not it is in their best interests to do so.

In traditional online marketing the focus is on getting the sale and getting it quick before the buyer has a chance to change their mind or figure out that what’s on offer isn’t what they truly need or want!

Some business experts will even encourage you to tell buyers to get out their credit card and make high ticket purchases on the call — yuck!

As conscious business owners, this is not how you want to treat your potential clients and customers, yet it can sometimes feel like this is the only way to really make money in your business.

In this article, I want to get across the point that there is another way.

In fact, what I’m going to share is an approach that not only differs from what we’re usually told about “closing the sale” but that actually flies in the face of it.

What I’m talking about is slowing down the sale.

Taking the foot off the gas pedal and creating time and space in which our customers can make an informed decision about whether or not to buy from us.

Why is this so important?

Slowing down the sale is important for several reasons.

Top of the list for me is that it cultivates trust. Unlike what many online marketers would have you believe, rather than letting the sale escape, what it actually does is make a true and genuine yes much more likely. This is because people have the space to say no, meaning that when they say yes, you can count on it.

I can’t tell you how many times, clients have come to me complaining that people have said yes to working with them on a sales call, only to later change their mind or, worse still, have started to ghost them. The reason? They felt pressured to say yes, but deep down didn’t want to or they didn’t have enough time to make the right decision for them in the first place.

Slowing down the sale also ensures that you only work with right-fit clients. When you’ve spent adequate time with another person, getting to know them and taking the time to ensure that what you offer and what they need is a fit, then you are much more likely to enrol people who will benefit from your service. Working with ideal clients means you get to do your best work, which in turn means you’re much more likely to have a greater impact, which in turn leads to glowing testimonials and word of mouth referrals. If you’ve already experienced working with a less than ideal client or a perfect one, you’ll know what I mean.

Another important reason to slow down the sale is that it feels better for you as the business owner and for your would-be clients. No one likes to feel like they are pressuring someone into saying yes and nobody enjoys being pressured to make a decision faster than feels comfortable for them. When we as business owners create space for the right decision for all to be make, it makes such a refreshing change from the usual online practice of closing the sale quickly, that people really feel the difference and feel enormously grateful as a result.

And last but definitely not least, I believe we should slow down the sale because it’s the right thing to do. Might we lose some people, who would otherwise say yes with a bit more pressure? Maybe, but for those people who do say yes, what we create are relationships far more likely to last over time, because they are built on a foundation of trust and respect. So slowing down the sale is both the right thing to do and doesn’t have to mean less income in the long run, because when you work with people who trust you, they will buy from you again and again. I have seen lots of evidence of this in my own business.

That covers much of the why around slowing down the sale but how do we do it in practical terms. Below you’ll find six practical steps you can take to slow down the sale.

1. Slow yourself down

Slowing yourself down absolutely has to happen before you can genuinely slow down the sale for the customer. Oftentimes, before the money is flowing consistently in our business, we might find ourselves feeling needy or even desperate for the sale, so much so that when someone shows interest, it can be hard not to pounce on the opportunity.

Regardless of our financial needs, keeping our energy in check is crucial, if we are serious about creating the necessary space and conditions for a right-fit sale to occur. In the early days of my business, before talking to someone about working together I would remind myself that whilst I might need (or really want) to make a sale, I didn’t need to make this sale. That was my way of reminding myself that there would be other sales conversations and that getting a sale was not more important than enrolling the right person to my coaching program. Ahead of complimentary sessions or sales conversations, I would often meditate to get into a calm and trusting space — this really helped me to slow down.

2. Slow the customer down

You get to set the pace, just because someone you’ve never met before writes and asks you to share details of your packages, doesn’t mean you have to send over your prices in a heartbeat. Instead, you can say something like: before we get to that, let’s look at what you really need and whether or not what I offer can truly help you.

I see this with clients all the time. They are in reaction mode when someone expresses an interest in working together and because they haven’t taken the time to slow themselves down, they feel like they have to respond as quickly as possible with whatever the potential client has asked for.

Personally I won’t agree to work with someone unless I’ve coached or had a conversation with them and feel certain that there is something I can support them with. With that in mind, discussing the logistics of working together feels very premature. Besides which all of those details are on my sales page. I would much rather get into a conversation about why they are looking for help and what kind of help they are looking for before we even think about buying or selling.

3. Carve out adequate time and space to have a sales conversation

Of course sales conversations largely relate to the kind of services that people enrol for (such as coaching or group programs) because people are highly unlikely to put down several thousands dollars for such a service without having a conversation with you first.

Many online services providers will offer a short “discovery call” for this purpose but I am not a fan of these (you can read more here for my reasons). If you are currently allocating 30 or 40 minutes for these conversations, I would encourage you to extend the time. You might even have several conversations. Or like me, offer a complimentary session before you even get to the conversation about sales so that you both really get to experience what working together would feel like.

The reason I like to give more than 30 or 40 minutes is because really discussing what the potential client is dealing with and what support they are needing takes time. Why rush it? If the income is going to be several thousands of dollars or more, isn’t it worth spending an hour (or more) to give the potential client the best enrollment experience possible?

4. Test the yes

Even when someone says yes, I encourage you to ask questions that test the yes. It can feel counterintuitive to do this when you want to make the sale but it’s essential if you want to enrol someone who is a right-fit for your service. I encourage you to ask questions like:

Are you sure? Are you a hell yes?

Who else do you need to talk to before you can make this decision?

Do you need more time or information in order to make this decision?

Why do you want to do *this* program?

Why do you want to hire *me* specifically? Why not another coach or healer?

These questions slow down the sale and they let the would-be client know that you are not desperate to make the sale and that you genuinely want them to make the right decision for them (which incidentally will be the right decision for both of you!).

It’s such a different approach to trying to overcome the person’s objections (a practice I loathe), because it’s actually encouraging the objections and then allowing space for the potential client to either honour those objections or overcome them for themselves. In my experience, if I have to work hard to help a client overcome their objections, then they’re not an ideal client. Part of what makes a person ideal for me is that they are 100% in and excited to get started, anything less makes for a less than ideal working relationship.

As conscious business owners we know that each person has all the wisdom they need within themselves to make the right decisions — doing sales in this way honours that truth.

And even if you’re selling something that doesn’t require a sales conversation you can still slow the sale down. The next two points relate to things you can do on your sales page in service to this idea.

5. State clearly who your products and services are not for

On my sales pages I like to make it clear who my product or service is *not* a fit for. We so often fear turning people away that we would never dream of doing this but the clearer you can be about who you can and can’t help and who you want and don’t want to work with, the more likely you are to get clients and customers who are a perfect fit.

I love the way Tad Hargrave does this with some of his offerings — he has what he calls an Are you sure? page, which pops up when you try to buy some of his services and then he basically lists all of the reasons why you shouldn’t buy. It flies in the face of conventional marketing and personally I think it’s both clever and kind. I love what he does on his 1:1 coaching page to manage expectations and ensure fit. You can check it out here.

6. Be mindful of your language

Are you using wording like BUY NOW and/or creating false scarcity or using arbitrary deadlines? If so, I recommend you stop doing so. You may get the sale in the short-term but you’ll seriously erode trust and may find that you end up with unhappy customers because they bought something that wasn’t truly a fit.

The last thing we want is to have lots of unsatisfied clients out in the world sharing their dissatisfaction about our work with others. Instead of creating false scarcity why not let people know (if it’s true) that there will be other opportunities to join your program or purchase your product. Again, this slows down the sale and has people buy from a centered place rather than out of anxiety or FOMO. It makes such a difference.

We get told that we need to use pressurising tactics in order to get the sale but by slowing the sale down, what you ultimately do is cultivate a deep trust, something that over time will help you to build a sustainable and deeply impactful business with truly loyal customers who sing your praises every chance they get. Now doesn’t that sound preferable to the alternative?



Once a week, in the form of an e-letter, I share the best of what I know about building a business with integrity for conscious business owners.

The intention behind these letters is to be a voice for integrity within your (undoubtedly) cluttered inbox. To be the one email you can count on to contain strategic and soulful advice for building a business without selling your soul.

If you want to receive the Soulful Strategies Weekly, simply share with me your name and email address below and you’ll start recieving emails right away.